I've received a meaningful gift...***
I didn't do well for conveyancing law exam. I was over confident and didn't read the question properly. It was my fault. =( But is ok. I'll learn from my mistakes.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
I've received a meaningful gift...
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Tomorrow is the last paper! Woohoo! I can't wait for the paper to end. I studied so much and in the end Accounting and POM papers are not as hard as I think they are. Why I studied so much sia? Nevermind. I just want to do well can already. Hopefully tomorrow's paper will be as easy as Accounting and POM. =)) Gambatte!!
***
Christmas is coming ! =D
Monday, December 07, 2009
I'm walking in circle again. Is this what I really want?
Saturday, December 05, 2009
It's studying time again! Exams are next week. Mug mug mug~
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
I don't understand why I still have the slightest concern for you like looking at your fb profile ocassionally. It doesn't make sense because you're the last person on earth that is worth my concern. Even the people who betrayed me worth it more than you do. You doesn't make sense at all. So do I. Everything that happened doesn't make sense. EVERYTHING.
You like a nightmare. A worst nightmare in my 19 years of life. I wish I don't have to see your face again.
Forgiveness? I'm really trying super hard to do that. Even if you have my forgiveness, it doesn't mean that things will change, all it'll change is that I'll live happier without this thorn in me.
I don't want to hate you. I don't want any hatred inside me.
So now I'm actually struggling. One moment I thought I've got over it, but the next moment the bad thoughts come back and haunt me again.
What kind of bad thoughts I have? You must be wondering..And now I don't mind to share..
I wish the next time you see me, you'll see a very happy girl with the real smile you never see before.
I wish you will see me with together with a guy one million times better than you are (which is so easy to find around me).
I wish you'll regret.
I wish you'll be jealous that I'm happier than you.
I wish you feel guilty about what you did.
I wish that whenever you recall about the past, you'll remember you're such a jerk.
I wish you know where you faults are.
I wish this lesson is so hard that you'll never treat anyone like that.
I wish you'll learn to put down your pride when it is necessary to.
I wish you learn to love others like how you love yourself.
I wish you don't hurt anyone just to protect your damn image.
Do you even know why I keep walking away? Have you done some reflection about it? Or you'll just stick to your pride..No. It's not pride anymore. It's shameless.
You're not the only one in pain. You only think that..you suffer the most all the way. Don't you?
Have you ever consider my feelings? Hah. I think you're too self centered to care. You'll place yourself first, no matter what.
If you ask me whether I regretted leaving you again, my answer is NO. The only thing I regretted was I didn't give you a piece of my mind before I left. I should have lectured you, tell you what are the things you should improve on. And of coz, tell you you're a jerk right infront of your face, roll my eyes and walk away.
Do you feel like shouting at me now? Too bad, I'm not there anymore.
****
I'm not an angel. But I'm not a devil as well. This time you're just too much.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Love doesn't make sense at all.
***
I'm glad that I didn't throw my temper, if not we won't be where we are now. =)
Monday, November 23, 2009
AAAAHHHHHHH!!! I will tolerate. I will. I will not expode. Yes. I won't. AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I can do this. I can.
***
I really cherish, thats why I choose to tolerate. Should I just tell you everything and make you learn or grow up? But growing up is the last thing that you want to do.. So whats the point. So just tolerate. Things will get better, like it always do.
God...Please grant me more strength.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
The piano performance on Sunday is cancelled. I dunno whether to feel relieve or disappointed as I practice quite alot lately. But nevermind. I can do other things on that day. =)) Yesh!
Let focus on company law for now.
***
Sunday, November 15, 2009
It's not easy to change or improve your weaker points. It takes time. But that doesn't mean you have to give up trying, because the moment you choose to give up, you've decided to stay like this forever... And do you want to stay like this forever? The history will repeat itself, till you're so sick of it. You'll face the same problem again.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
The charity concert had been successfully carried out. I'm very pleased about it. Finally it's over..It's a good experience for me. =)) Up next will be the piano solo on 22 nov, a very nervous and interesting moment that have yet to arrive. I want to do well. This will be my first piano performance and maybe the last one as well... I don't know if I can have another chance to perform piano. So I want to give my very best shot, so that I won't regret.
Lalalala~
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I just tolerate. I just keep it inside, like an idiot. Why? Because it's time to grow up and not act like a kid, because I think you're important to me. But I'm afraid that one day I couldn't take it anymore and I will just explode.
I was too fortunate in the past because no one have done that to me,as a friend. They never say things that hurt me. They never attitude me before. They simply treat me like a princess.
Why do I feel so shit now?
But they all say it's good to experience what I experience now, so that I can grow up, so that I can increase my tolerance skill, so that I;m not so pampered, so that I can be patient, so that I'll learn to be a good listener, so that I learn how to take care of others, so that I'm a better person....
So I guess it's a good thing afterall, though sometimes I'm not very happy about it. Because I feel that no one cares, no one is there when I need them, no one is listening, no one bother to know, no one is interested to know, no one understand how it feels like...
I know I say alot of dumb things and do lots of dumb things. But as long as I'm happy I don't mind. Sometimes doing dumb things can make you happy. But that doesn't mean I'm dumb in every way.
Ok! I've vent out my frustration! ROAR! >.<
Sunday, November 08, 2009
I'm going to live a meaningful life and not just waiting to die. =)
***
如果我爱上你的笑容，要怎么收藏，要怎么拥有？
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Anybody still remember who was my jinx (ke xing)? Well, he used to be but not now anymore. Hahas. He was working in a handphone shop near my house. I met him there and we chatted for a while. It's been so long since I last talked to him like that. I recalled about the old days back in school. I think I like the present more than the past. It's like we've put behind those unhappy past and start a new. We used to be good friends when we're young. Today seem like we're back to where we were. =) Gambatte, friend.
Friday, November 06, 2009
Things are getting interesting...Interesting people around me. It's time to open up. I would love to enjoy their company this semester. =) I think I will laugh alot this semester. Great!
While playing hard and studying hard, I will not forget about my responsibilities. When it's time to let go of something I love, I will.
I promise you.
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
3 Good things about being a vegetarian
1. Save the animals
2. Save the earth, reduce global warming.
3. It is healthier as it reduce the risk of having cancer.
Sunday, November 01, 2009
I'll be there for you. I don't want to be the one to hurt you again.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
I think sometimes being rebelious is so tiring. I'd rather learn to be more understanding and be peaceful, instead of having cold wars or irritating noises that just couldn't stop no matter how much I want them to shut up.
I think it work. Just be a little patient and understanding.
***
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Hahahahas! I wish...I wish...something good will happen this time. =D
Lalala~
Thursday, October 22, 2009
I really don't know what kind of pain you are going through... I pray that there'll be someone who light up your life. I hope that you can see that this world is not too bad afterall.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
I can't believe it. I dream of Zeng Mei yesterday and then I laughed and found myself awake form laughing. Zeng Mei has corrupted my mind!
***
我的知心朋友，再见了。虽然有点舍不得，但我不后悔我的选择。我祝你永远幸福。=）
***
I need inspiration on music! Once again...Lost.
Things that I need to do by Lau Miao Ru.
1. Help out more at home.
2. Stop throwing tantrums at baby brother.
3. Practice cello and piano.
4. Study hard.
5. Be more responsible.
6. Participate more in religious programs.
7. Get along with everyone.
8. Be happy.
9. Do not feel weird when I see him again.
10. Forget about the sad history.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
I wanna say sorry to Yuying. Yesterday I went out with her and I fell asleep while she ate her yoghurt. I think I slept for quite long. Sorry that I wasn't in the right mind yesterday. =(
***
I'm not going to so foolish to soften my heart for you again. It's not worth it for a jerk that only care about himself. I'm smarter this time. No more guessing games. No more rubbish from you.
I'm moving on already, what about you?
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
I'm at Kris 18th birthday chalet. I didn't plan to stay today, but the spoilt brat insist I stay. Hahahahs. I miss everyone. Tonight will be a girl's out night. We'll be watching Sorronity Row later. Can I don't watch that? I'm afraid of horror movies. But for the sake of my best friend's birthday, I shall watch it. Hahahahas. =D I miss everyone! So glad that I see them today. I miss Xiao mao, shi ping and michx too. Didn't get to meet them. I MISS YOU ALL. Please take care and be happy~ Love you all de miaomiao!
***
At that precise moment, I realise的 I still love you, dearest friend, no matter how hurt and disappointed I was... I will learn to accept everything and live with it. I'm also waiting for you to be frank with me, only then we will be best friends.
***
属于我们点点滴滴的悲伤，我们要各自忘记。
Monday, October 12, 2009
I finally know...who are the ones I wanna hold on to.
Love... has never left me at all.
Thank you, God, for everything you give me.
***
We should be more responsible.
Friday, October 09, 2009
Firstly I wanna say sorry to Shi Ping. I was suppose to meet her today but I didn't coz I was sick. So so so so sorry! I'll make it up to her. Definitely will. Dui Bu Qi!
***
Things to ban in my life :
1. Spicy food
2. Cold desserts/drinks
Friday, October 02, 2009
I'm finally free from work. Great, I can have my life back now. Somehow I know things will be different now. Not a bad thing though. =)
Mid autum performance was over. It was kind of last minute for our cello bass but luckily we still made it, though, we barely made it through. Phew! Next year will be better. We'll become strong again. Gambatte.
***
I don't want to fix the broken pieces back. I'm tired. Just let it be... For all I care. I can smile to you, no worries. I can pretend that everything is ok. Isn't that what you want? Sweeping the dust under the carpet. Best Friends? Yea we are, on the surface. So pathetic. Let's see what's the next move. =) I think I'm immune to these sort of crap already. Hahahas. Seen too much. Just that I thought it will never happen to us. Never mind, at least I know who is real and who is not.
***
So looking forward to Saturday. I've been praying for years for this particular wish to be true...
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Staying together is not what we truely want, is just because we've got no choice, we need to get along for the whatever use of the future. Right now I feel like staying in the protected zone when I'm with you, just like what I do when I first introduced to a complete stranger. I thought best friends should be frank, open and keep creating new memories. A friendship that only counts on the past memories is not going to last forever. Hahahas. No, I won't cry, because I know you won't even care. Why should I? Lau Miao Ru you are a fool!
Monday, September 28, 2009
I think that adult's world are very complicated. I believe everyone have a choice to choose what kind of life they wanna live. So...After watching how they live, I tell myself, I'd rather have a simple, happy life and appreciate everything that I've got.
***
People change as time pass. Good or bad, is still their choice. But those memories we had will never change. It will be well kept in our hearts, which is why no matter how much we all had change, we still wanna see each other and keep in touch. I will go as far as those memories bring me to.
***
I don't want to live in fantasy or dreams because they aren't real. I used to be like that, but not now. Life is suppose to be real and at the same time, interesting and enjoying. You can only find the real happiness in reality, not in those fantasy dreams. Wake up. Be true, be honest. Don't run away anymore because you'll realise no matter how much you run, you'll still stuck in the same old place forever. It's time to live life to its fullest before it's too late.
Smile more and be more friendly. =D You should change yourself first before things around you start to change for you. =)
BE HAPPY!!
***
Things that I must do by Lau Miao Ru
1. Treat my family better
2. Change my bad habits.
3. Celebrate Ping's birthday.
4. Attend Kris's 18th birthday party.
5. Meet Yuying honey.
6. Study hard.
7. Play music!
8. GPA = 3
Those that are bold must be done as soon as possible. 30th September I will officially be released from work and have my life back. =))
Friday, September 25, 2009
Met up with dar dar last Sunday for a while. I'm really happy to see her moving on with her life. That should be the way man, but don't drink too much. =) Please continue to smile.
***
My mum said she felt heart pain when she watched me so tired and didn't eat well at work.
Dad gave me the "my girl is back" kind of smile when I came home from work.
Baby bro told me to drink more water because my lips is getting red which means I'm heaty.
I wanna remember all these sweet moments so that when one day we all quarrel I'll not feel that hurt. At least there are some precious memories for me to hold on...We should remember those happy times more than the sad times. =)
Sunday, September 20, 2009
My body is aching, EVERYWHERE.
Everyone has been treating me super nice at home and at work.
Mum actually bought me facial mask from sasa. So funny. This is the first time she buy such things for me.
Dad has been asking me to drink some kind of medicine to stop my cough. Felt touched.
Brother...Well...He is there lah. When I need him to. Thats enough. =)
Friends has been calling up to date me. Yeah!
My uncle is finally getting married soon, which means I can finally meet my mum's side family. Yesh!
God...Please help me this time. On 3 Oct, my uncle's wedding. Let things go sweet and smooth for mum and her sisters whom she didn't speak to for years. Let them get along. Let them be close again.
I want the family to unite again. I know my mum also want it to.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
I feel hurt is not due to how you hurt me, it is because I'm disappointed in myself. I could proudly tell everyone that the guys I used to like are of good character and contain good substances inside except you. You hurt my pride.
For all the crap messages you wrote to me, you didn't mention you were sorry. Then you expect me to act af if nothing happens. What a loser. If I don't act as if nothing happen, will you think that I'm a petty woman (so that it makes me look like I was the one at fault)? Seriously, I don't care. So save your time from writing those useless messages for I will not bother to reply them. I seriously don't want to have any thing to do with you.
I'm not interested to go back to the starting point. However, I wanna thank you for waking me up as I realise the world is more beautiful than I thought it is. There are a lot of better choices around me. Why didn't I see it earlier? Love makes people blind and behave like an idiot. I was once that foolish idiot and I'll never be like one again.
We're even, aren't we?
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
What a man should be and should have by Lau Miao Ru
A man should have a kind heart and listen to his conscious.
A man should have the courage to admit his fault and not push the blame to someone else.
A man should have the courage to admit his feelings and not afraid of rejection (well unless the girl got a bf).
A man should know how to respect everyone.
A man should not say things to hurt others in order to make himself look good. (This kind of man is one of the worst that to be with because he love himself more than he love you. Too self centered. )
A man should not care too much about how others see him and should care about how his conscious sees him.
A man should be honest.
A man should be responsible.
A man should be someone that can be relied on.
If a man truely love you, he'll not turn his back against you and walk away from you, letting you fall from heaven to hell...
***
Do such a person even exist? =) Maybe yes, but one in a million.
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